Sunday, 30 May 2010

I'm Back ... I Hope....

Yoo Hoo!  Anyone there???  Yes its me!  I am back!  Firstly I must apologise on the lengthy absence.  I have had alot going on in the past 5 months.  As most of you would know my mum passed away suddenly at the age of 55!  Unfortunately she was suffering from anxiety and depression, and has struggled with both most of her life.  Life here on earth for her was way too hard, she just couldn't find her happy place.  On the 15th December 2009, she took her own life, and now I hope she has finally found her happy place.

My Beautiful mum and her beloved dog "Leroy".  Together forever!

As an only child, and very very close with my mum, it certainly rattled my chains.  Alot of inner questions were and are still being asked from myself!  How did I miss this, why didn't she call me, how could I have helped.  It was such a hard day in itself, with Dad having a heart stress test which ended in him having some sort of heart / brain side affect, which landed him in hospital.  Desperate to find mum all day, with no luck.  Here I was thinking I was going to lose my dad that day and stayed by his bedside all day, and good ole life played the worst trick possible and took my mum.

Mum & I - Our last mothers day together - High Tea at Bacchus - 2009.

It is now 5 months on, I am still struggling with the reality that I do not have my mum, my best friend, in my life any more.  Some days are copeable, some days I just want to stay in bed all day and hide, and cry and just lose it, but I don't and I can't.  So I just soldier on.  In saying that, the loss of my mum so suddenly, the fact that she took her life, and knowing that I have to live the rest of my life without my mum, her help, her support, her love, the joy my boys brought to her life, knowing that I have lost my best friend is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my whole life.

           Travis & Nanny                                                                                        Cooper & Nanny
BUT, she would not want for me to put my life on hold like I have.  I felt that I needed to take time out, to make sure my dad got through this OK, to make sure my children were loved, safe, to look after my family, and most of all to take time out to heal, to get through the emotions privately.  If all that makes sense. 

So today was the first day that I actually put back on my creative hat!  Time to get back to the land of reality and the living.  So back to teaching Scrapbooking.  I  need to get back to my happy place.  As of the 29th June 2010, I will be back teaching what I loved best!  Scrapbooking!!  I am teaching back at Medowie with Creative Craft Shack!  The girls there are just beautiful and can't wait to catch up with them again!  Classes will run for 10 weeks, at $20 per class and a deposit of $40 to secure your place.  I will also be making up kits to go with the tutorials if you are interested to try and make life easier for those who don't have the time to get supplies, or are new to the addiction and not sure on how to co-ordinate everything together.  I will be teaching Tuesday evenings from 6.30pm to 8.30pm and Fridays from 10am to 12pm.  I have a few class tutorials all ready to go.  Please let me know if you are interested.  Would love to see you there.

So here we are, 5 months on, and I haven't picked up a single scrap supply until this morning.  I think the excitement of going back to teaching has brough back my enthusiasm and creativity!  So excited.  This morning I pulled out my papers, some pictures, started fiddling around and before you know it I have started and finished my first layout in 5 months.  I am so proud of myself as I am sure my mum is too that my creative hat it back on!


Thanks to all my wonderful friends and family who have held me up, shown me the greatest love and support I have ever known.  I am truly blessed to have the most wonderful family, husband and little boys who provide me with endless comfort, & unconditional love.

So now the next chapter of my life begins....  Hope you join me on my journey!
Love Always
Lisa xx


Anonymous said...

Oh Lisa honey, how I wished I'd emailed you. You've been on my mind so many times yet I never got round to emailing you. My heart really goes out to you, I'm still crying from reading your news. No words can express it, I know, but please know that I am thinking of you. I'm so pleased to see you've started scrapbooking again - it truly is very therapeutic, and I sincerely hope you will find peace in your beautiful work. Much love and hugs to you xoxox

Jaimee said...

proud of you Lis, this must have been so hard to write..take care and so glad to see you are feelimg ready to create again. xoxo

Lisa K said...

Wow - thanks for sharing - so brave of you. I hope you find some relief in scrapping this special person in your life....

Al Hannah said...

Hi Lis, it's great to see you back in your scrapping :)
What you've written is so heartfelt and warm - I can't imagine how difficult your life has been for the past 5 months. Know that I'm still thinking of you often ... take care of yourself. xx

AnnetteL said...

What a beautiful post Lis, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, your life will never be the same again, but she will always be in your heart.

It's wonderful to see you back where you belong, creating beautiful scrapbook layouts!

Carol Dunstan said...

so saddened to hear about your mum, but a lovely post to her. Glad to hear the mojo is returning, I am sure you will find some therapy in it.

Lyndal said...

So glad to see you back sweetie.
Hugs to you.

Tanya Tahir said...

wow Lisa, what a beautiful post. You are so strong. I am glad you're back sweets xx