Friday, 31 October 2008
So Happy Halloween everyone!
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Monday, 27 October 2008
Saturday saw yet another day of Grant drinking more and more! 6 weeks of hitting the bottle hard had to stop, so of course I asked the same ole favour, "Could you please lay off the alcohol just a little"! Now I didn't ask him to give it up, there was no ultimatums, just lay off it a little. Of course Grant retaliated, as he does! Stubborn! Again, I am the worst person in the world. He says its the only thing that numbs his pain, and I say its the only thing that is stopping you from dealing with your grief! I understand the whole concept behind the motive, but when we have a young family, I don't see it as a solution!
So after his retaliation I am told I am not there for him, I am never here for him! Do you know how crushed I was! Broke my heart! I helped to organise the funeral. I was by his side the whole time, comforting him, before, up and after Netty died. I have sat with him numerous times chatting and crying with him over Netty and the bullshit that has carried on after with other family matters, I had made thank you cards, created a shrine in our loungeroom with Netty's pic and poem, have done so many things to be a supportive wife, and asking him to layoff the alcohol was just another way of me trying to help! I was absolutely gutted, flawed, to be told I have never been there for him! How can I honestly get any closer to helping, apart from being by his side 24/7! I was told that I lost an Aunty big deal, its nothing like loosing your mother, so how would I know! I do the best I can, and it still isn't enough! Am I feeling sorry for myself right now, hell yes! I really don't know what to do!
This is the hardest time in my life ever! Two deaths in 5 weeks! I loved Netty, I loved my Aunty, I am trying to be a pillar of support for Grant, I had no help or support from mum as she has her anxieties to deal with! This is a time in my life where I really need my mum, and she is not there! Some days I really struggle! Somedays are easier! And to be told I haven't been any support, I haven't been there at all, crushed me like a rock!
Sunday was a little easier, I threw myself into spring cleaning. I cleaned all our bedrooms out from top to toe. went through all the boys toyboxes, book cases, wardrobes, you name it. when I was finished there, I tidied the lounge, dining and kitchen and painted a feature wall in the dining room with a Cactus Green Suede! Healing colour! I think we all need a little healing right now! Grant threw himself into painting the front verandah! He said he was sorry and only said those things because I pissed him off about questioning his drinking. He said he didn't mean it and I have been the best support he has had! Though at the end of the day, it was said, it really hurt like hell, and he can't be taken back and the drinking continued!
On a positive note the house is looking smick! Frustrations and anger, and all the emotions mixed between really do wonders for spring cleaning! The kids had a ball playing in the yard and under the sprinkler with the little girl next door! Sorry about the vent, but really needed to just put my words, emotions somewhere! I keep holding everyone else up, and over the weekend I really needed someone to hold me up! Especially Saturday night! Guess it all just makes me stronger at the end of the day, knowing I can deal with it by myself. If you read all this, you are one brave person! LOL! But thanks for listening!
Friday, 24 October 2008
On a much nicer note, on the way home from Wollongong after the funeral on Wednesday, we thought we deserved a break, and thought lets call in and see Jane, I was guaranteed a smile and a hug! And we certainly got that and more. Such a lovely ending to such another sad and flat day! Thanks Jane for your greatest hospitality in letting us drop in with 10 minutes notice. LOL! You definately won Coopers heart! Too funny, he is still talking about you! On the way home he kept say "No home, back Janes". So anytime you want to steal him for awhile, he is all yours. So sorry that Willy was still sick, though I am sure that Therese loved the boys kisses and cuddles too! Thats a guarantee with my boys, they love giving kisses and cuddles. The reno's are looking smashing luv, loving the colours, and so can't wait to see it all finished with the new furniture too! You so deserve it! Give your bro a big pat on the back from me OK!
So with the resigning of SBS, here is my last DT work using MME - My Garden - Sunshine range. I so loved these papers. In a time where there wasn't much happiness in my life, these papers really lifted my spirits and what better way to use them, by making Thank You cards to all my wonderful friends who have supported both me and my husband with the cards, flowers, and numerous phonecalls. Thank you so much, this totally means the world to both of us.
I actually made 12 Thank You Cards - aren't they so bright and cheery!
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Saturday, 18 October 2008
Here are a few pics of our day!
Here comes the boys through the track...
Here is my trusty ole Subi waiting for the big rigs to catch up...
Dads big rig coming down a huge dune - So Much Fun!
Another Big Rig
Dads big rig and my little ole Subi - taking 5 out..
Jono, Samorne, Gracie and baby Laura - visiting the SignaJono, Gracie and Laura
Jono & Laura - gotcha Cuz!
The Signa - over 30 years now since it ran aground.
Uncle Ian having a smoko break at the Tavern
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Well that is me for the moment, still taking things day by day, some days easier than others, some days harder than others. Though we are getting there together. Until next time, take care and chat soon!
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Its another beautiful day here today, so might go and relish some of it outside for a little while! Chat to you all soon! Take care!
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Well the weekend flew by in a blur..... literally! What a weekend. Once of the best weekends I have had in a long time. Grant went fishing Saturday Arvo, Night, so I got alot of catch up housework done. It was great. Sunday I got ready for a BBQ. Made a potato salad, marinated some steaks and tomatos. The boys got home from fishing just after lunch! Then the fun started. We had an awesome BBQ for tea, followed by putting the kids to bed, then numerous drinks and we played cards until 3am! A Blinder! It was fantastic to let my hair down! I drank 1/2 bottle of wine, and 1/2 bottle of Kahlua, Grant drank carton of beer and 1/2 bottle of Wild Turkey and Rod drank 1 & 1/2 bottles of Beam! OMG! Blinder would not be the word for it! Poor Rob having to put up with us drunken idiots. Was the best fun! Can't wait until we do it again! Looks like its your place next time Rob! We had our first cards arvo at Rod's a few weeks back and that was a great arvo too, but I drink or get to chill! Really really enjoyed the BBQ and cards at our place, so much easier when you can put the kdis to bed and then let loose! Just like the good ole days....... He He He!
Can't wait until next time! Though it takes a while to recover these days! Must be old age! Though least I wasn't sick just really really tired, poor ole Granto was seedy as all day! Poor old guy! Wonder how the boys pulled up? Glad Monday was a public Holiday!
Well Happy Birthday again Tess! Hope you had a brilliant day!
Friday, 3 October 2008
So meet George! He is my boyfriend, the other guy who I play with! He He He!
OK, so the introductions are aside, you have all met George, no doubt drooled over George, I know, I can't help it either..... Apart from George entering my world, we are in full swing of School holidays here. Grant has taken a few days off to hang with the boys while I work! Nice change! Have really enjoyed it! Looking forward to the weekend too! Will keep you posted!
Until next time, chow!
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
So for my contributions this month, over at Scrapbook Shelf, I have dedicated my monthly Stamping Challenge to the Pink Ribbon Month. My challenge this month is to stamp on an object other than cardstock or paper. I have chosen to stamp on acetate using Staz On, to create see through Butterflies. Also I extra challenge you to scrap in pink for Pink Ribbon month and to create a layout in tribute of someone special in you life that has been touched by cancer. Now this could be a person who has survived, passed on, a relative of, or your personal story of what you feel inside, or someone special in your life that you feel needs to be paid a tribute. Now if you would like to join in with the wonderful challenge this month, the winner will receive a $10 gift Voucher from Scrapbook Shelf to spend in store. But also I would be truly honoured, grateful and proud to see such wonderful tributes up there in the gallery with mine. So come on girls, get scrapping......... You have until the 31st October to get your layouts up in the gallery!
Close up of the acetate butterfly made from stamping with Stazon!
Big hugs and kisses to you all! Today is important! Make sure you do just one thing today to make yourself happy!