Black Days

Well it certainly must be halloween as I am feeling the blackness! The last two days have been two of the hardest for me lately! Yesterday saw Netty's Birthday! You know the first milestone without her! Felt like I needed to ring her and wish her a happy birthday! Grant felt the same! Checked in on Grant a few times during the day to make sure he was coping OK! So wish she was here! Thursday was a hard hard day, I worked, but didn't want to be there, my mind wouldn't think, I felt edgy, sick to the stomach and my heart kept racing! So not nice. Friday saw the same thing! Just so flat! Don't have any motivation to want to do anything! Time to kick myself up the butt and kickstart this life! Tomorrow's a new day! Hope to start it on a positive!

So Happy Halloween everyone!

Lisxx

Just riding the waves...

One moment is it major lows and the next I am floating on the highs! I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster, but at least the last few days there has been highs to celebrate.

Yesterday was such a great day! Yes I still felt flat and quite down, but I had a trifecta in the emotional highs yesterday! Firstly Sandy and Jaimee came over for morning tea, it is always such a great pleasure to spend time with the girl, chatting over coffee and cake! Laughing, and just enjoying each others company! You really helped me yesterday girls. Thank you! SO needed them hugs too! I am so lucky! Plus Jaimee brought me my Stamping Up goodies! Oh so can't wait to play with the papers, the stamps, the calendar and the chipboard.

Secondly I was jumping over the moon when Jaimee mentioned that my Castle had made its way onto the Kaisercraft website, not only my Castle but also as a project to make! OMG I am so chuffed at this! Super super super excited. Now I made this castle a few months ago now, sent it off to Kaiser, and have been waiting to here something back, before I could load it on my own Blog! So stunned to see it on Kaisers website, project and all! Super stoked. So here it is, "My home is my Castle"

Kaisercraft Castle and Kaisercraft Reminiscence Papers

My third great high for the day as I got a little card in the mail from the ever gorgeous Kerry, just a line to say "Hello" in her cute handmade card, telling me she is thinking of me, etc. So sweet and couldn't have come at a better time. We eventually caught up on facebook last night, so that was even better! Love you my sweet friend, just need to save some pennies and take you up on that offer of a weekend in Qld!

So there you have it, they say things come in three's and I certainly got my three highs today!

Lets hope the sun continues to shine!

Will be back shortly with some more projects I have been working on lately!

Love Always

Lisaxx

Emotional Bipolar!

Well that sums up me at the moment! The highs and lows of everything! This weekend was one of the hardest in my life! Now I am going to vent, so if you don't want to read it, don't!

Saturday saw yet another day of Grant drinking more and more! 6 weeks of hitting the bottle hard had to stop, so of course I asked the same ole favour, "Could you please lay off the alcohol just a little"! Now I didn't ask him to give it up, there was no ultimatums, just lay off it a little. Of course Grant retaliated, as he does! Stubborn! Again, I am the worst person in the world. He says its the only thing that numbs his pain, and I say its the only thing that is stopping you from dealing with your grief! I understand the whole concept behind the motive, but when we have a young family, I don't see it as a solution!

So after his retaliation I am told I am not there for him, I am never here for him! Do you know how crushed I was! Broke my heart! I helped to organise the funeral. I was by his side the whole time, comforting him, before, up and after Netty died. I have sat with him numerous times chatting and crying with him over Netty and the bullshit that has carried on after with other family matters, I had made thank you cards, created a shrine in our loungeroom with Netty's pic and poem, have done so many things to be a supportive wife, and asking him to layoff the alcohol was just another way of me trying to help! I was absolutely gutted, flawed, to be told I have never been there for him! How can I honestly get any closer to helping, apart from being by his side 24/7! I was told that I lost an Aunty big deal, its nothing like loosing your mother, so how would I know! I do the best I can, and it still isn't enough! Am I feeling sorry for myself right now, hell yes! I really don't know what to do!

This is the hardest time in my life ever! Two deaths in 5 weeks! I loved Netty, I loved my Aunty, I am trying to be a pillar of support for Grant, I had no help or support from mum as she has her anxieties to deal with! This is a time in my life where I really need my mum, and she is not there! Some days I really struggle! Somedays are easier! And to be told I haven't been any support, I haven't been there at all, crushed me like a rock!

Sunday was a little easier, I threw myself into spring cleaning. I cleaned all our bedrooms out from top to toe. went through all the boys toyboxes, book cases, wardrobes, you name it. when I was finished there, I tidied the lounge, dining and kitchen and painted a feature wall in the dining room with a Cactus Green Suede! Healing colour! I think we all need a little healing right now! Grant threw himself into painting the front verandah! He said he was sorry and only said those things because I pissed him off about questioning his drinking. He said he didn't mean it and I have been the best support he has had! Though at the end of the day, it was said, it really hurt like hell, and he can't be taken back and the drinking continued!

On a positive note the house is looking smick! Frustrations and anger, and all the emotions mixed between really do wonders for spring cleaning! The kids had a ball playing in the yard and under the sprinkler with the little girl next door! Sorry about the vent, but really needed to just put my words, emotions somewhere! I keep holding everyone else up, and over the weekend I really needed someone to hold me up! Especially Saturday night! Guess it all just makes me stronger at the end of the day, knowing I can deal with it by myself. If you read all this, you are one brave person! LOL! But thanks for listening!
Love Lisxx

On The scrap front...

Well not much has been done of late unfortunately. I just don't feel I have the right head space for creativity at the moment. I haven't been around SBS forum, the gallery, or even creating at home in past few weeks. So it is with much regret and alot of thought, that I have resigned from my DT position with SBS! Such a sad state of affairs I know, but really the deadlines and the pressure of having to be on the forum, gallery are things that I just cannot do at the moment. I wise friend said to me the other day, that life is like juggling, sometimes you have to drop a few balls to keep the others going. So in order to get myself and my families lives back on track I have to take a step back for the moment and refocus. These past 6 weeks have been one of the hardest in my life. Loosing my mother in law, trying my hardest to help my husband through his loss, all the shitful problems that follow a death, trying to deal with my mother going through her anxieties and not having her to lean on during our own tough times, and now trying to deal with another death, another funeral.

On a much nicer note, on the way home from Wollongong after the funeral on Wednesday, we thought we deserved a break, and thought lets call in and see Jane, I was guaranteed a smile and a hug! And we certainly got that and more. Such a lovely ending to such another sad and flat day! Thanks Jane for your greatest hospitality in letting us drop in with 10 minutes notice. LOL! You definately won Coopers heart! Too funny, he is still talking about you! On the way home he kept say "No home, back Janes". So anytime you want to steal him for awhile, he is all yours. So sorry that Willy was still sick, though I am sure that Therese loved the boys kisses and cuddles too! Thats a guarantee with my boys, they love giving kisses and cuddles. The reno's are looking smashing luv, loving the colours, and so can't wait to see it all finished with the new furniture too! You so deserve it! Give your bro a big pat on the back from me OK!

So with the resigning of SBS, here is my last DT work using MME - My Garden - Sunshine range. I so loved these papers. In a time where there wasn't much happiness in my life, these papers really lifted my spirits and what better way to use them, by making Thank You cards to all my wonderful friends who have supported both me and my husband with the cards, flowers, and numerous phonecalls. Thank you so much, this totally means the world to both of us.

I actually made 12 Thank You Cards - aren't they so bright and cheery!

Also I couldn't resist scrapping just one layout with these papers as well, Coop had the sunshine in his face, the paper range was My sunshine so why not name the layout "You are my sunshine" Just love it! Thanks Trudi for such a wonderful opportunity to be apart of such a great online community, such wonderful products and the most beautiful girls. I will still be around SBS but just on the other side of the fence now! Thank you girls for all your support and hopefully I have inspired you all just a little!

Take care!

Love LIsxx

Sunshine never lasts long....

Thast for sure! Have had such a great week catching up with my cousin and his family. This morning another of those dreaded phonecalls, my Aunty passed away during the night! This is my mums sister. She was only 59! If its not enough to go through one death and one funeral, now two within 5 weeks. Not sure if my poor ole heart can cope! I am very sad and down today! Can someone please tell me the meaning of life??????
Lisxx

Catching up with Jono!

It has been a great week catching up with my ole cuz Jono and meeting his family! Really 20 years has flown so fast, I can't believe it! We have been out to dinner, lunch, hung out at mum and dads, the kdis have got on so well together, we have had a BBQ where Jono & his family are staying, and today we had the best day going 4WD at Stockton all day! The kiss had a ball playing in the sand, playing in the waves, 4WD over the dunes. We then ended up at Anna Bay Tavern for a late lunch. Was great! Though seemed a little strange going to Anna Bay Tavern without Netty as that was her spot! Alot of memories there with her! Though we had a ball! Uncle Ian even came with us, he came down Friday to see Gran and meet up with Jono and his family, stayed at mum and dads Friday night, and we all had a BBQ for tea, and then of course the dunes today! What a blast! So have to do it again!

Here are a few pics of our day!

Jono letting his tyres down!

Here comes the boys through the track...

Here is my trusty ole Subi waiting for the big rigs to catch up...

Dads big rig coming down a huge dune - So Much Fun!

Another Big Rig

Dads big rig and my little ole Subi - taking 5 out..

Jono, Samorne, Gracie and baby Laura - visiting the SignaJono, Gracie and Laura
Jono & Laura - gotcha Cuz!
The Signa - over 30 years now since it ran aground.
Uncle Ian having a smoko break at the Tavern

Really was a great day! Jono don't take 20 years next time, we miss you! It was great having you here with us! Get your truck license, that way you have a job waiting. LOL!

Love Lisxx

The rising of a new day....

I just couldn't resist this mornings sunrise to take a few snaps! What a gorgeous sunrise, looking out my front door. Grant was on his way to work and I was waving goodbye out the front and thought, quick get the camera. Luckily I got to snap a few before the sun was too high! Lets hope this is the dawning of a fantastic day!

I have my cousin from Port Augusta - South Australia over today, so very looking forward in seeing him again. We spent a bit of time together as kids when I went over on the Indian Pacific with my grandmother to visit for three weeks I think! Anyway, it has been twenty years now since I saw him last, and can't wait to catch up! Can't believe how quickly time flies. He is married with two little girls - Gracie who is 4years and Laura who is 12 weeks.

And while I had the camera out thought I'd take a few snaps of Mo, so you all can see how quickly he is growing. What a handsome little boy he is! Luckily he is mummy's boy, he loves me to death, but doesn't like anyone else, quite happy to have it like that! He He He!

Well that is me for the moment, still taking things day by day, some days easier than others, some days harder than others. Though we are getting there together. Until next time, take care and chat soon!

Love Lisxx

School Holidays are over.....

We have had a pretty good two weeks! Travis has got to do alot of things during his days off. He went on a train ride with Nanny, had play dates with his mates, we went to Sandy's for a visit and played with Em & Ben, we went to Blackbutt and took Harrison, we went to the Circus at Woodberry, had a few luncheon dates at Macca's, went to the Skate park, went the the park and played, had swims in the pool, and even helped Daddy out in the backyard! It has been great having Travis home, I have enjoyed it! I miss him when he is at school, though I am sure Cooper will like to see him back at school and I am sure Travis will enjoy the break away from his brother. Gosh how bad do two brothers fight! I really wish they would be great mates but at the moment all as they seem to do is fight and annoy each other! Charming!

A day at Blackbutt Reserve with Trav's mate Harrison...

Yesterday I managed to complete my DT work for October with SBS, and also managed to create 5 cards to send to Jane Jones. Jane JOnes is helping a friend of hers raise 100 handmade cards in order to sell. She is wanting to raise money for her friends mother who has breast cancer. The plan is to make 2-3 Christmas cards and send them onto Marelle and she will sell them to put towards the fundraising. Also October is Breast Cancer Awareness so what a great way to help someone else. (okay the catch - Marelle needs the cards ASAP so the deadline to have cards to her is 17th October 2008.) I bought a card Kit from Kazazz a few months back and what a great way to use it! Here are my 5 cards I am donating! Such a great cause! So come and join us!!!!!

My 5 Cards for the cause....

Its another beautiful day here today, so might go and relish some of it outside for a little while! Chat to you all soon! Take care!

Love Lisxx

Happy Sweet 16 Tess!

I can't believe that you are 16 already! What a truly amazing girl you are! Tessie is my next door neighbour, she is so sweet, she comes over for visits regularly, plays with the boys, sometimes babysits, gossips with me, and just hangs out and chills. She also has an amazing voice that when she sings it sends chills down your arm. Very talented! She can play the piano and the guitar as well as sing! Well Sweet Sixteen Tess! What can I say except the world is at your feet, you are a truly amazing young lady that has the biggest heart I have ever come across. You have the time of your life! We all love you! Kiss Kiss Hug Hug! Lets enjoy the circus today! He He He!

Tess (Brown Hair) & Lauren (Blonde)

Well the weekend flew by in a blur..... literally! What a weekend. Once of the best weekends I have had in a long time. Grant went fishing Saturday Arvo, Night, so I got alot of catch up housework done. It was great. Sunday I got ready for a BBQ. Made a potato salad, marinated some steaks and tomatos. The boys got home from fishing just after lunch! Then the fun started. We had an awesome BBQ for tea, followed by putting the kids to bed, then numerous drinks and we played cards until 3am! A Blinder! It was fantastic to let my hair down! I drank 1/2 bottle of wine, and 1/2 bottle of Kahlua, Grant drank carton of beer and 1/2 bottle of Wild Turkey and Rod drank 1 & 1/2 bottles of Beam! OMG! Blinder would not be the word for it! Poor Rob having to put up with us drunken idiots. Was the best fun! Can't wait until we do it again! Looks like its your place next time Rob! We had our first cards arvo at Rod's a few weeks back and that was a great arvo too, but I drink or get to chill! Really really enjoyed the BBQ and cards at our place, so much easier when you can put the kdis to bed and then let loose! Just like the good ole days....... He He He!

Can't wait until next time! Though it takes a while to recover these days! Must be old age! Though least I wasn't sick just really really tired, poor ole Granto was seedy as all day! Poor old guy! Wonder how the boys pulled up? Glad Monday was a public Holiday!

Well Happy Birthday again Tess! Hope you had a brilliant day!
Love Lisxx

I have a new Toy.......

Oh Yes Baby! I am so excited! OK girls minds out of the gutter pleeeasse! I know what you girls are thinking........ I finally received my new Laptop - George! Yeh happy dancing! OMFG how good is this!!!! I can sit in bed and surf, I can sit at the table and watch TV at the same time, oh I am loving it! I bought a Dell Studio 4GB, 2x320GB Hardrive, with all the perks. I didn't hold back! I got the silver one as I love all the swirls in the silver, where the other colours were just flat colours. It has taken a little to get it up and running, had to connect the wireless internet, get my emails up and running, install the TV tuner and program that, you know, blah blah blah, though it is going now, just have the boring task of transferring my important stuff of the old tower computer onto George! Also have to install my camera driver etc, but I ham having to much fun surfing. Have become addicted to Facebook, now once you start there, thats it, my daily ritual starts with check emails, the check facebook, how sad is that! Too sad! But loving it! Keeps my mind occupied.

So meet George! He is my boyfriend, the other guy who I play with! He He He!

OK, so the introductions are aside, you have all met George, no doubt drooled over George, I know, I can't help it either..... Apart from George entering my world, we are in full swing of School holidays here. Grant has taken a few days off to hang with the boys while I work! Nice change! Have really enjoyed it! Looking forward to the weekend too! Will keep you posted!

Until next time, chow!

Lisxx

October is Pink Ribbon Month!

Well this is a very special month for a lot of people in the world, and if you are not aware, this month October, is Pink Ribbon Month in association for Breast Cancer. Such a good cause! There is so much Cancer in the world these days, and not just Breast Cancer. I know with being recently touch by Cancer with the death of my Mother in Law, it is a very special month to pay tribute to all the people out there who have either survived or passed on from this terrible disease.







So for my contributions this month, over at Scrapbook Shelf, I have dedicated my monthly Stamping Challenge to the Pink Ribbon Month. My challenge this month is to stamp on an object other than cardstock or paper. I have chosen to stamp on acetate using Staz On, to create see through Butterflies. Also I extra challenge you to scrap in pink for Pink Ribbon month and to create a layout in tribute of someone special in you life that has been touched by cancer. Now this could be a person who has survived, passed on, a relative of, or your personal story of what you feel inside, or someone special in your life that you feel needs to be paid a tribute. Now if you would like to join in with the wonderful challenge this month, the winner will receive a $10 gift Voucher from Scrapbook Shelf to spend in store. But also I would be truly honoured, grateful and proud to see such wonderful tributes up there in the gallery with mine. So come on girls, get scrapping......... You have until the 31st October to get your layouts up in the gallery!

MISS YOU!

Close up of the acetate butterfly made from stamping with Stazon!

Big hugs and kisses to you all! Today is important! Make sure you do just one thing today to make yourself happy!

Love Lisxx